


Total Drama: Playa das Resort

by indulgingsorrows



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, How Do I Tag, Multi, Screenplay/Script Format, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23900617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indulgingsorrows/pseuds/indulgingsorrows
Summary: In a scripted shitpost, 7 contestants from each generation are brought back for another season. Disaster happens.
Relationships: Cody Anderson/Noah, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	1. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> I have no regrets writing this shit- I mean- i worked RLLY hard on this pls enjoy :) :) :)

chris: -rises through the floor and into the camera- GREETINGS I AM FRICK MR CLEAN  
???: Die -SHOOOOTS!!1!1!1!-  
chris: omfg no im a gamer i cant die  
???: nothing personnel kid -steps out of shadows to reveal is topher-  
Intern 1: there is no queen of england :(  
topher: chris sucks after island, i am now host  
Intern 2: but isnt this meant to be a genwunner season  
topher: -hot sexcy chad voice- no  
intern 2: uR RIGHT :)  
topher: ok i choose duncan and sky as the winners  
intern 1: Whos sky  
Topher: .....what the bitch lasanga is this weeb nonsense  
Intern 2: how about we actually just bring in contestants from all gens and rebuild that old resort  
topher: -squeaky virgin voice- yes master  
Intern 2: How about from Gen 1 we pick... uh... Duncan, Beth, Sadie, Cody, Noah, Justin, and Harold.  
Intern 1: Omg duncan so hot let him in :heart_eyes:  
Topher: k  
Intern 2: Gen 2 is anne maria, Zoey, Lightning, Jo, dawn, cameron, and anne maria  
Topher: did you just fucking say anna marie twice  
Intern 1: swap out Ana Maribelle for Sam he’s a gamer  
Intern 2: omfg u right  
Topher: Gen 3 is dave, max, amy, samantha, shawn, ella, and scarlett. We’re retconning scarlett fever.  
Intern 1: -pisses-  
Intern 2: then its settled! -leaves-  
Intern 1: -leaves and leaves piss behind :blush:-  
Topher: now that im hot AND host, its time to rebuild the set  
Chef: -comes in- what the f.....uck!


	2. Episode 1: Penis Music Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (authors note: timeskip because im lazy oopsy -eats my shirt-)

topher: greetings dudes, my name is topher, and after i brutually shot chris and beat him to death, i am the new host of totaled dramtical!  
chef: I dont get paid anything for this shit :zoey_WAAAAAAAAAA:  
topher: h-h-how?! are you saying a discord emote out loud... nevermid i guess.  
topher: here we have the rebuilt resort formerly called “playas das losers,” because i am a hardcore scene kid.  
topher: Here we have the contestants from gen 1

a fortnite bus rolls by and the genwunners starys to jump out and drop while topher and interns watch

topher: We have duncan...  
Duncan: f*** off b**** ur stinky -pulls out rifle and shoots at the pool as he drops boys-  
topher: beth...  
Beth: hiya!!! im beth!!!! :3 -falls and hits head against pool edge-  
Topher: sadie  
sadie: wait wheres katie AUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH  
topher: cody  
cody: S I M P P O W E R -activates simp powers and floats down to the ground-  
topher: n-n... i cant say it oh my god  
Intern 2: I’ll say it for you. NOAH111!!1!  
sadie: -lands- oh my god is that katie  
noah: -fortnite drops- what  
sadie: OMFG ITS KATIE  
noah: -looks into the camera as he shits on the pool-  
Intern 1: im gonna pretend i didnt see that cringe  
topher: justin  
justin: ok... -blasts mcr and sobs as he lands in the barbecue-  
Topher: damn you are thicc, son! next up, harold, the icon  
harold: -backflips into pool from the bus- EW IS THAT A SHIT IN THE POOL  
noah: my bad harold O_O  
cody: Its so hot and secxy when you s*** in the pool, Noah.  
noah: WHAT THE F***  
Topher: erm.. .-. NEXT UP, GEN 2 

A boat named the S.S. Courtney slides by and throws everyone on it off. 

Duncan: -softly giggles and nukes it with his gun- 

The ship has been sunken.

Duncan: YES, I WIN BATTLESHIP!  
Dawn: -teleports behind you- greetings, sister.  
Topher: IS THAT A F***ING BEAUTY GURU  
Beth: -sits up- hahaha, yes!!! :3  
Topher: hi dawn. anyways we have anne maria-  
Anne Maria: aaalllright hey thots anne maria here  
Topher: Lightning-  
Lightning: SHA-F*** YALL -dances around the pool and t-poses on harold-  
Harold: GOD STOP  
Topher: Jo-  
Jo: -does the harlem shake-  
Topher: Zoey-  
Zoey: Hey-  
Topher: SHUT THE F*** UP ALL OF YOU!1!!!!!!1!  
Sadie: O-O...  
Topher: anyways, we have... samuel, cameron as well. lastly, there is gen 3. 

the house from up: -falls off the waterfall and lands as everyone piles out-

Topher: dave max shawn ella amy samey-  
Sameay: Actually, it’s samantha  
topher: ok fine you can be samantha let me update the script text.  
samantha: k  
Amy: UUUUUUUAHAHSHAJHSWKHWUW  
Topher: lastly we have scarlett  
Scarlett: -walks over as the house collapses- Can somebody explain to me what the fuck this mess is?  
ella: what mess~?  
Scarlett: ...Nevermind.  
topher: ok now that everyones here i can explain the rules  
topher: everythings pretty much the same but now we’re on the resort  
justin: no wonder it looked familiar...  
topher: Yes! Confessional is the bathroom by the dock. get pissing and gossiping. 

-  
Scarlett’s Confessional

Scarlett: Well, this one is considerably better than the one we had when I first competed last season. Still, something is strange about this whole ordeal...  
-

Topher: And now we will split you into two teams.  
sam: but there are 21 contestants... how would we have equal teams?  
Topher: fine. THREE EQUAL TEAMS. GOD. ok, i got an idea. -gets out 3 games-

Mario, Zelda, Kirby. Really.

Topher: pick and choose, f***ers  
Zoey: ooo ill go with mario  
sam: zelda  
amy: Zelda  
samantha: kirby!  
Amy: B**** WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU LEGEND OF ZELDA IS WAY BETTER THAN THAT BASIC S***  
samantha: -starts to crying-

-  
Sammy’s Confessional

samantha: i thought that amy would’ve learned her lesson by now... that skank.  
-

beth: Hmmm... mario  
Ella: hmm.. kirby  
justIn: mario.  
Harold: naturally, zelda, but it’s actually link whos the main character-  
Anne Maria: oh who the f*** cares ill go with mario cuz of dat  
Scarlett: Hmm.. I’ll go with... Zelda.  
Lightning: kirby!  
Jo: really? KIRBY? i’m going with mario  
Shawn: ...mario. i guess.  
Dave: wait are you going to edit this out  
topher: Yeah  
Dave: oh ok thats fine im gonna pick Kirby then  
Dawn: hmm... kirby  
Max: i’m gonna go with mario.  
Sadie: eeeeee! kirby  
Noah: zelda  
cody: zelda as well!

-  
Noah’s Confessional

Noah: that bitch is a f***ing simp. i bet he paints his toenails blue as well!  
-

Duncan: fuck it, kirby.  
Topher: Guess what? Those are your teams now  
Justin: im stuff. wait what  
beth: nice.  
Topher: anyways gamers, inside the resort is the three floors. each team will reside on a separate floor. zoey. Beth anne maria, jo, shawn max and justin. you will hence forth be known as the Generic Marios.  
Zoey: generic?  
topher: amy, sam, harold, scarlett, noah, noah’s bitch, and cameron. you are the gamer zeldas  
Sam: i always knew i was a gamer...  
Topher: lastly we got samanth, ella, lightning, dave, dawn, sadie, and duncan. you are the karkalicious kirbys.  
Dave: Uh... what’s Karkalicious.  
Sadie: noOoOooOoOoo  
dave: ??? o_O

-  
Sadie’s Confessional

sadie: one time! katie and i listened to karkalicious! and... well.. nobody else should ever have to suffer that burden  
-

topher: Marios, first floor. zeldas, second. kirbys, top floor. get unpacking, dweebs. Tomorrow is when the fun begins. I suggest talking to the others

everyone: -walks off-

~  
Noah: -unpacking- i cant believe im competeing in this s*** again  
cody: Well its ok! you have me!  
amy: i’m trying to set up my smash bros stuff, SHUT UP.  
cameron: who do you main  
amy: ngl i main sonic  
cameron: Pfft i main pac-man  
Amy: mhm sure ok b****

-  
Cameron’s Confessional

cameron: not gunna lie, amy is a gamer. maybe i should try to form an alliance with her.  
-

Scarlett: Hello uh... Harry, was it?  
noah: no that’s tyler  
harold: Huh?  
Scarlett: Whatever, I wanted to see if you’re also... curious.  
harold: ?????? What????  
Scarlett: Aaaaand I’ve got my answer. -sighs and gets back to unpacking-

~

Jo: lay off on the hair spray  
anne maria: calm ya self ladie im just adding the finishing touches!  
zoey: guys... we get it, can you stop posting tier lists on reddit  
brick: excellent meta, zoey.  
shawn: -bruh moment-

~

Sadie: -sings- 4, 3, 2, f*** you-  
dave: What was that  
sadie: um nothinng heheh!  
Lightning: -unpacks- lightning of all ya sha-b******t  
ella: Uhm.. can you all stop swearing  
duncan: on it, **** ***** *** ************* **** *******!  
ella: ._.

-  
Ella’s Confessional

ella: As much as it hurts to say, this team is full of.. of some m-meanies!  
-

scene cuts to topher

Topher: Will anything funny happen? Will Cody stop being a simp? and can i have a mcfucking burger? Find out next time on total tactical island.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> generic marios: zoey, beth, anne maria, jo, shawn, max, justin.  
> gamer zeldas: amy, sam, harold, scarlett, noah, cody, cameron.  
> karkalicious kirbys: samey, ella, lightning, dave, dawn, sadie, duncan.
> 
> eliminated:  
> nobody yet


	3. Episode 2: Penis Music Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry fur long break sisters i was loudly pissing ;(

topher: welcome back to total tea time

sitcom laughter plays.

topher: last time, after chris died, i introduced the 21 contestants and split them up into 3 teams of 7: the marios, the zeldas, and the kirbys  
intern 2: couldnt you have dun like.. i dunno.. based on company? Nintendo sega microsoft?  
Topher: STFU k-  
intern 2: do not say my name it is a secret.. >;(  
topher: O-O ok,..  
intern 1: hit or miss-  
intern 2: i guess they never miss-  
topher: huh? anyways, time to go drag the contestants over

~

max: yknow, itd be easier to tell the teams apart if all the basic bitches werent around  
beth: Rlly?  
max: Yes  
beth: -adjusts scrunchie- hm,,, well. I guess you’re right.

-  
Max’s Confessional

max: with scalett on anotha team, ill have to locatte a new minionZ.. perhaps this beth will suffice?  
-

zoey: i wunder when the challenge will be!!?  
justin: Probably at like 8 am  
anne maria: gives me time for dat beautty rest!  
jo: -eyes- uhm rlly  
anne maria: yes wtf is wrong b****  
shawn: uh, it’s 7 59 am  
anne maria: what a load of-

TOPHER: G’DAY MATES GET TO THE ARCADE ROOM ON THE 1ST FLOOR ITS CHALLENGE TIME

beth: there’s an arcade?  
anne maria:....

~

amy: THERE’S AN ARCADE?1?1?1 -runs out door-  
harold and sam: time to show off my sick gamer moves- hey stahp copying me- STAHP  
noah: oooh get a room you two  
cody: -ordering a pickle rick costume- yeah!  
Scarlett: Hmmm...

-  
Scarlett’s Confessional

Scarlett: Harold and Sam would make for an interesting pairing, I must admit. There’s no time for bothersome distractions though, it’s time to go to the challenge.  
???: hey ar u dun i have to piss  
Scarlett: -sighs- And also, it’s time to figure out what the deal is with everyone...

~  
ella: -looks around room- uhm.. Where’s everYone(  
dawn: they left, come on  
ella: ok -walks-

~

at the arcade

topher: All gamers are present so inwill now explain da rules. for this challenge you all will play club penguin arcade games: thin ice. i will add up the total points from all 3 teams and whichever team has the most points wins. however, if u die, that is it! Ur time is up!  
Lightning: lightning can sha-do this!  
dave: uhuh.. sure u can.  
sadie: -giggles-  
Topher: uhmmm... get started!!!

there are 3 machines. Team mario lines up for the first.

justin: ill go first  
jo: no me!!  
Anne maria: ugh nobody f****** cares  
shawn: .-.  
Beth: -sneaks over and atarts playing while they argue and gets to level 17-  
zoey: um bethany what are u doin  
beth: bethany??? Uhm im playing club penguin thin ice since NONE if these b****** will do it -eyerolls-  
max: may i go after  
beth: o sure  
Max: YES AHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAA  
shawn: im going to get a migraine ughhhhh

~

sam: i’ll go first  
everyone else on gamer zeldas: k  
sam: 0-o people usually slap me for that  
amy: well! Obviously, youre da gamer giy, git playing Thin Ice  
cameron: go sam!  
cody: yeah u can do it!  
noah: ...? -eyes

-  
Noah’s Confessional

noah: he’s not giving my attention? nooooo... wait, f*** i mean YESSSS!  
-

Scarlett: He’s been playing for 5 minutes, and he’s already on level 19?  
harold: it’s kind of hot...  
Scarlett: What?  
harold: NOTHING 0//0

~

samey: ummm... may i pla-  
duncan: PFFT, puhlease, i’m playing make merge  
Dave: ugh its thin ice... -.-  
dawn: -whispers- its better to play along i think -eyes duncan- OH NO DAVID IT IS MAKE MERGE  
dave: i guess u right  
duncan: -games-  
sadie: so lightant.. uhm....  
Lightning: go away, sha-s***  
sadie: RUDE!

-  
Dave’s Confessional

dave: hmmm... dawn’s fine for now, but duncan and lightning are p*******g me off!  
-

lightniNg: WAT DO U MEEN RUDE 0-0  
sadie: -looks at camera-

~

topher: i hate these f******* assholes. more after the break!

~

topher: ok wb so far the gamer zeldas have the most points -.-  
beth: yahahhaha! i knew it  
jo and justin: -still arguing-  
shawn: Shut. The. F***. up.  
Max: nooobody cares

~

amy: what the h*** sam?  
sam: What  
noah: The marios are in front  
sam: huh- -loses- FFFF******-  
Scarlett: Stop swearing, I’ll go next. -starts playing Thin Ice-  
cameron: hey amy  
amy: what  
cameron: -whispers- we should vote off cody if we lose cuz noah hates simps and will vote for him so its 3 votes  
amy: OMFG u right!!

-  
Cameron’s Confessional

cameron: -smug- ah yes, the only way to survive in this world.  
-

cody: were u talking about me?  
noah: nobody wants to talk about you, attention seeking t***  
cody: N-noah chan -cryeing visibly-

~

sadie: duncqn HURRY UP ur on like level 2  
duncan: NO IM ON LEVEL 3  
dawn: -looks at dave- david maybe ur right  
samantha: -breathes-

~

topher: holy s***, you all suck at this. Ok here are placements. third is kirbys-  
duncan: f*** this s***  
topher: second is zeldas and the winner is mario.  
Zoey: nice one team  
amy: -glares at samuel-  
topher: Kirbys ill see u at elimination tonight.

-  
Ella’s Confessional

ella: even i know who this is gonna be.  
-  
Dave’s Confessional

dave: dun-  
-  
Dawn’s Confessional

dawn: -ning.  
-

cameron: uhm... what’s the reward that the marios get?  
topher: the marios get an order from taco bell? Soft? Hard?  
beth: oooI like soft tacos they ta ST e SOOOO good  
sam: hehehe -looks away from team-

~

Topher: ok kirbys... you all suck today.  
ella: -eats tissue- we know.  
dave: can we get on with voting?  
topher: yeah u all aready voted by pissing on the pool. DISGUSTING by the way. the following are safe  
ella  
samey  
dawn  
sadie  
dave  
lightning and duncan are f**ked tho until i give one of them the marshmallow  
lightning: SHA-what

dramatic music plays as topher drools on the marshmallow

topher: duncan  
duncan: YES!  
topher: ur out  
Lightning: YES x2  
duncan: WHYYY YOU B***** F***** UGHHHHHH  
sadie: stop.  
topher: u cost the team the challenge and we’re sick of you in merge. this time we’re reusing the dock of shame, except that there’s a special twist  
duncan: O-o

~

karkalicious kirbys are at dock

topher: bye d*ncan -throws blue shell at him-  
duncan: AAAAAA -goes flying off the dock-  
topher: And thats the end of the first episode. Will the Kirbys lose again? Will intern 1 and intern 2 ever stop singing hit or miss?  
intern 1: you got a boyfriend, i bet he doesnt kiss ya  
topher: find out next time on playa da total drama or whatever -walks off-  
samantha: .-.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> generic marios: zoey, beth, anne maria, jo, shawn, max, justin.  
> gamer zeldas: amy, sam, harold, scarlet, noah, cody, cameron.  
> karkalicious kirbys: samey, ella, lightning, dave, dawn, sadie.
> 
> eliminated:  
> 21st - Duncan


	4. Episode 3: Tumblr Taco Bell

topher: belcome back bo bnothee bepisode bof botal brana blaya bas Besort!  
intern 1: nobody has any idea what you’re saying.  
topher: BES BHEY BDO BI’M BOPHER  
intern 2: FIIIIIIINEEEEE, i’ll do it. -pushes topher off camera- last time on total drama, the teams played club penguin minigame thin ice to see which team would get more points. after duncan cost his team the challenge, he got FUKIN’ YEETHED. rip duncan x merge that ship was deh shit. god. the host is so cringe  
intern 1: u sooo right  
topher: -cryeing in b’s- bAAAAAAH  
intern 2; lets see how the contestants ar doing! owo

~

Lightning: -sings thunder by imagine dragons- Thunder, be the thunder  
sadie: that somg is soooooo overrated  
lightning: -sings amsterdam by imagine dragons- iLl take the west train just by the sign of amstadam  
ella: -continues- just bye your left brain, just bi the side of dat tinn man!  
samantha: pfft cringe music -turns on nickelback-

~

Zoey: I feel a disturbance in the force. Something is not right.  
justin: huh?  
zoey: nvm i think im hearin things  
anne maria: go Off, i guess!  
shawn: im so tired of this bulls***  
jo: hypocrite,,  
max: EEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVIIII-  
beth: can. you. please. just. stop. and. SHUT THE F*** UP?! STUPID LIL B****!! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO HAVE A GOOD F******* TIME AND YOU KEEP MESSING THAT UP WITH YO-  
Everyone: -eyes-  
beth: 0///0 Uhmm...

-  
Beth’s Confessional

beth: man i wish i was the villain this season, then i couldve had plot armor. :0  
-

beth: guys i can explain...  
anne maria: oh can it spring bean  
jo: thats a metaphor??? stupid??  
anne maria: die

~

amy: you f****** up big time sam. you better hope that we aren’t at the elimina tion ceremony tonight or your dead!!!  
sam: ;-; -tries hard not to cri-  
harold: hey dont talk to him like that  
noah: -snickers-  
harold: wuts so funny .-.  
cody: -snickers as well- we’re eating chocolate snickers what’s wrong with that harold? you got some bias towards reese?  
amy: pathetic.  
harold: ...

-  
intercom

topher: BBBBBBBBBBBBB  
intern 2: LET ME DO IT  
intern 1: why  
intern 2: ok f***** get to the basement yes there is one for the newest challenge!!  
intern 1: Why do you get to be in charge  
intern 2: Cuz im da best character! intern to da two, intern do da doo-  
-

Scarlett: Go off, I guess.  
noah: leets go

team walks  
~

topher: -coughs- oook so for this challenge we’re doing ship roulette. teams will spin and people gots to kiss. if ya dont kiss everyone gets to shame you and if ya do yo get a point and ya need 2 points to win so get kissin!  
noah: -gulp-

-  
Noah’s Confessional

noah: -sighs- knowing this challenge, i will have to make out with cody who is gross and has cooties. fuck that b****  
-

noah: hell nah i aint doing this straight s***  
lightning: its ok cody lightning dont judge  
noah:: my name isnt cody...  
everyone: -gasp-  
cody: Wait so am i noah?  
shawn: MY F******** GOD YOU ALL ARE STUPID  
dave: what is even going on anymore.. .-.  
ella: im not sure david  
sadie: -singings- striders beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonics!-  
dave: aha! U ar singing karkalicious.  
sadie: o.o no.  
dave: shit. U right. anyways, topher, i cant cheat on keith, he’s my hot and sexc bf  
Scarlett: Did you just... break up with Sky or something?  
dave: You just said the forbidden name .-.  
amy: well; ok. Topher lets go start  
topher: oK! first team is karkalicious kirbys  
lightning: if we fail this yall are sha-dead to me  
topher: -spins wheel- ok dave and samey must kiss  
samantha: its samantha  
ella: -glares- uhmmmm cheatin?  
dave: i dont want to but... i must

ok they sadly kissed and meanwhile keith is watching the tv from his home and be crying cuz his bf dave just cheated with sparemy samantha wtf

topher: ok kirbys score a point next is generic marios -spinning wheel- ok beth and max  
beth: k  
max: k

ok they agreed wow people aren’t being bitches so far the fans will go crazy

max: holy s*** your breath sucks  
beth: ,-,

nevrmind.

justin: confessionals exist for a reason, maximus  
max: -.-  
topher: ok now it is time for the gamer zeldas -spins-  
Scarlett: Knowing how this is turning out, the wheel will land on Noah and Cody.  
topher: or did it just land on harold and sam. get kissin  
sam: 0-0 uhmmmmmmm...  
harold: its ok we can play fortnite after this

ok yeah they kissed otp secured who wouldve thought lets hurry this along. each team got one point so far

topher: while the kirbys would go next,, we need noco. get kissing, b****es  
noah: no no no NO  
cody: noah >;(( it has 2 happen or our team doesnt get a point  
amy: -eyeings-

-  
Amy’s Confessional

amy: two hapless twinks making out? i know thatll get good ratings, topher will soooo make push come to shove  
-

noah: fine but im going to ignore you for the rest of my life  
cody: wait what-

and then the secxiest most hot kiss ever happened and everyone was so impressed that they almost starting to speak in regular sentences but only scwrlett can do that so they cant

Scarlett: Huh?

scarlett shouldnt hear this uhM anyways the noco happened and it was hot thats why the noco kiss is an emote on discord-

noah: ok bye im blocking you on deviantart  
cameron: UHM STOP you use deviantart  
cody: -too busy thinkin about noco after the epic kiss of the lifetime to cry-

-  
Amy’s Confessional

amy: YESSSSSSSSS F*** YEAAAAAAAAAA-  
-

topher: ok its back to zeldas so samantha and david again  
dave: but my names dave  
topher: not anymore  
david: huh?!  
samantha: well, i guess im not samantha anymore, im sammy!  
topher: bet  
sparemy: WTF A******E!1!1  
amy: get F*******D.

anyways they kiss and keith cried ohh keith ohh dave ooh keith ooh dave ooh keith ohh dave and intern 2 is rolling in their grave laughing except theyre not dead its not what i mean teehee -.-

intern 2: -default dances-  
beth: max i am sorry i called u mean word  
max: oh rlly? ok then im sorry i said ur breath was bad

-  
Beth’s Confessional

beth: i dont really care i just took a leaf out of heathers book after i rewatched tdi -holds leaf- see?  
-

topher: marios next. zoey and justin  
zoey: no  
justin: what?  
zoey: absolutely not wtf is wrong with yall saying youre loyal and then you go and make out  
david: -starts to cry-  
sparemy: look what you done you made david cry  
amy: STFU HORE!!!!!!!  
topher: ok then the marios dont get a point, gamer zeldas, this is it

-  
Anne Maria’s Confessional

anne maria: OK so string hippie ova there is like “no” to some sexc guy... not as sexc as vito tho, duh  
-

noah: grrrrrrrrr  
cody: whats wrong noah  
topher: ok noah and cody  
noah: huh? Is that a codeword for thin air  
cameron: you dont need to call him names  
noah: stfu i can literally flick you and youll go flying off the resort  
Jo: mood -flicks noah-  
noah: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -gone off the island-  
codu: NOOOOOOOOO -cries-  
topher: ok nvm... kirby time. sparemy, sadie, kiss.  
sadie: yeah sure

and they kissed wow that sucked

topher: ok the kirbys win.  
lightning: SHA YES  
topher: Tiebreakers are dumb so the zeldas and the marios will be up for elimination together. Im too lazy to go noah so hes gone forever

-  
Shawn’s Confessional

shawn: ok, yeah, my head still hurts, i can’t see what to piss in the pool to vote  
-

topher: ok everyone voted, the following are safe  
cody  
beth  
max  
dave  
samantha  
harold  
sam  
cameron  
justin  
scarlett  
shawn  
And uhm some others?  
zoey, u refused to kiss. amy... you’re just. bad.  
amy: WHA  
zoey: oh nooooo  
topher: and the marshmalloe goes to... amy. sorry zoey we’re sick of you.  
zoey: awwwww  
topher: zeldas, go to your floor. marios, ill meat you at the dock

~

topher: ok bye -throws bomb-  
beth: we’ll miss you zoey  
zoey: thank -gets hit with the blue shell and flies off the island- AAAAAAAA  
topher: yo wtf i had a bomb... uhm... anyway,... thats it. will cody get over the loss of his husband? will justin have screentime. i dont know. come back nexy time on total drama playas das resort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> generic marios: beth, anne maria, jo, shawn, max, justin.  
> gamer zeldas: amy, sam, harold, scarlet, cody, cameron.  
> karkalicious kirbys: samey, ella, lightning, dave, dawn, sadie.
> 
> eliminated:  
> 21st - Duncan  
> 20th - Noah  
> 19th - Zoey


	5. Episode 4: Revenge On 2010

topher: welcome back to total drama playa da rest you little s****!!  
intern 1: 0-0  
intern 2: geez topher,, whats wrong  
topher: so... SOMEONE saw the latest episode and they aint happy  
intern 1: who?  
topher: ...i cant say. say hello to intern 3. they are here for something important.  
intern 3: hi there.  
intern 2: WHAT THE F***-

~

sam: do u guys think we will get another club penguin challenge  
amy: are you always this f*******ng basic  
harold: LEAVE HIM ALONE  
cody: -CRYING BECAUSE OF HIS HUSBAND WHO IS GONE- AAAAAA, WAAAAAAAAA!  
Scarlett: ...  
cameron: uh scarelet  
Scarlett: My name is... nevermind. What do you want?  
cameron: well, Nevermind, why are you so... different  
Scarlett: .-.

~

ella: -singing- silleeeenttt niggghtttt~  
lightning: -singing as well- shuuttttt the fuuuuuckkkkk up  
samey: so dave, u wanna form an allance since we are considered hores now  
David: sure lol  
sadie: -glares-

-  
Sadie’s Confessional

sadie: i protect him from KARKALICIOUS and this is the thanks i get?!?! if we lose, you’re gone, you s*** eating b****  
-

dawn: sadie what is wrong  
sadie: you dont care  
dawn: you’re right but i need screentime  
sadie: its just gonna switch to another team’s perspective see-

~

Beth: Does anyone else feel like the point of perspective changed?  
max: why are you speaking like that  
beth: ...oh no reason

-  
Beth’s Confessional

Beth: Yeah, the jig is up. Still, I’m not going to try to become the season villain. That’s way too boring. Plus, I’m nice.  
-

justin: i want screentime  
shawn: feels bad -dies-  
anne maria: omg wtf did he eat mcdonalds or somethang  
jo: no. i hope thats not important for the next challenge

topher on intercom: NEXT CHALLENGE TIME DEAD BODIES MAY BE IMPORTANT THEY MAY NOT IDK

jo: .———.

-  
Jo’s Confessional

jo: im going to k*ll topher  
topher: -punts jo out of the confessional- ok, bitch. im going to say all of the fucking swears uncensored if you continue  
jo: ACK, you already have  
-

topher: ok. so today is a challenge and you must make a podcast and advertise it and which ever has the best podcast made in an hour wins.  
dawn: these challenges seem to be getting more and more random  
david: you say that and yet the first challenge was a club penguin challenge. i always knew that tax evading b****** like you pretend to say smart stuff to get fans

-  
Dawn’s Confessional

dawn: no big deal. i dont care. -grabs cat food container and rips it in half and chugs it down and starts meowing- F*** YOU DAVIIIIIIIIDDDDDDD I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HOPE MY FANBASE K*LLS YOU!!!!!11!!1  
-

topher: stop thinking about going to confessionals you stupid f**** its challenge time  
max: IM BEING EVIL CALM DOWN  
jo: ok guys what podcast should we do  
shawn: walking dead review  
anne maria: that sounds kind of lame but whatever  
cody: i wish noah was here he’d show us what to do -sniffles-  
Scarlett: Wait, who are you?  
cody: i am ON YOUR TEAM STUPID F*** I AM WEEPING OVER MY F******** HUSBAND NOAH AND YOU RUIN EVERYTHING  
Scarlett: Yeah, this actually happens a lot.  
amy: SHUT UP LETS MAKE A SMASH BROS PODCAST  
harold: omfg heeeehaaaa yess  
sam: wait where are the supplies  
topher: over by where i killed chris  
sam: ... -takes microphone-  
lightning: lightning proposes that we do a podcast about sha-murder! i AM the man behind the slaughter after all  
cameron: -mumbling- f********* liar youre stealing my job  
sparemy: or we could do one about films?  
david: oh yeah we should do that  
sadie: ...I have an idea just leave it to me guys

-  
Sadie’s Confessional

sadie: i think it’s pretty obvious that i want payback. its time to get it  
-

dawn: ...ok

-  
Dawn’s Confessional

dawn: i cant even read auras but i know that sadie is up to some nasty s*** -flushes toilet-  
-

beth: -gets supplies and sets up table- ok someones gonna make the walking dead advertisements  
Justin: ok -makes the soviet union flag instead like an icon-  
shawn: i... i was joking about using the walking dead yknow  
jo: too late just shit shut the fuck up  
amy: -places camera- its like rlly inconsiderate that theres no team labels above the team convos  
topher: fine ill add that  
sam: oh thats good-

KIRBYS  
sadie: GET TO WORK STUPIDHEADS. david, set up the mic. sparemy, get the radio. ella. STOP.  
ella: but im literally doing nothing wrong sugar kinnie  
sadie: i-  
dawn: ill just... make the posters about tax evasion. -does so-  
lightning: go off, creepy grill

MARIOS  
max: WHY HAVENT I SAID EEVIILLLLLLL  
anne maria: you just did  
max: Oh.  
justin: the advertisements are made bethany  
Beth: Why do people keep calling me Bethany? Stop. Please, just stop. It’s not even a funny joke.  
beth: uhm i mean thats good food!  
anne maria: i wish our team wasnt filler  
jo: THEN BE RELEVANT  
anne maria: damn youre right -becomes so relevant that she’s not relevant again-  
anne maria but less relevant: F***!!!!

ZELDAS  
cameron: stupid lightning isnt the cam behind the slaughter  
amy: SHUT UP if you say that you will be sent to jail. did you know that dawn was a regular person who -shudders- spoke GRAMMER before that  
cameron: i have literally no idea how the f*** you know that information but ill take your word on it because we have an alliance  
cody: -crying- NOAH AAAA WAAAA WHYD YOU LEAVE WAAAA -cryies even more-  
Scarlett: ...  
cody: BE QUIET PIPSQUEAK  
Scarlett: You callin’ me a “pipsqueak” when you’re the tiniest motherfucker around here except for bubble boy? Bitch, shut the fuck up. Nobody cares about your “husband” who actually was just an acquaintance that hated you.  
cody: -twitches- GRRRRRRRR -becomes a hot wheels and blasts scarlett into the pool-  
harold: epic.

-  
Harold’s Confessional

harold: hahaha, no. i bet you forgot that noah shit in the pool in episode 1!  
-  
Scarlett’s Confessional

Scarlett: Ok. OK! I see that trying to play nice has gotten me nowhere. That’s fine. -Gets phone and dials- There is always a storm awaiting after peace!  
-

KIRBYS  
lightning: man i wish someone interesting was here  
???: -bear noises-  
lightning: yeah. wait wait a sha-f******* second whos there  
thunder: -bear noises-  
lightning: WHAT THE F***-  
sadie: i did all the work guys  
dawn: youre right but nobody likes you :)  
ella: i mean shes tolerable  
sparemy: -finishes posting advertisements- who cares-

topher on intercom: TIMES UP B******* IM GONNA CHECK YOUR PODCASTS

cody: why the fuck are you on the intercom youre standing right next to us  
topher: 0//0 anyways first up is generic marios  
max: -plays podcast-

it’s, as expected, a walking dead podcast. the conversation eventually devolves into which k-pop group is the best

topher: wow that was s***. next up is the gamer zeldas  
Scarlett: -Sighs and plays the video-

it’s a live stream of amy playing sonic adventures on the amy route haha wow so original. she eventually spills her gamer mountain dew on the monitor and it cuts off

topher: i said a PODCAST NOT A PREVIEW OF AMY’S CRUSH ON SONIC  
amy: -cries and crying-

-  
Sammy’s Confessional

sparemy: TAKE THAT CLOWN  
-

topher: and lastly is the karkalicious kirbys. i hope u can do better than your enemies.  
sadie: ok! so this one goes out to dave -plays it-

There is silence before a recorded song begins to play. The first lyrics tumble out: “4, 3, 2- FUCK YOU!” before catchy pop music plays. Dave freezes up.

david: no... NO THIS CAN’T BE IT

The song continues, pouring out “Listen up y’all, this shit is ironic!” Sadie softly smiles and turns to look at Dave.

david: SADIE YOU YOU WARNED ME YOU SAID NEVER TO LISTEN TO KARKALICIOIS AND I.... YOU BETRAYED ME  
sadie: not if you did it first, sweetheart!  
david: i... i... isoqkekalejakdjskjesjj-

Dave abruptly dies and flops on the ground like a TV after you throw the remote at it. Suddenly, he sits up. The song continues still. “Strider’s beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonics!”

david: scarlett give me your phone  
Scarlett: How do you-  
david: GIVE ME THE PHONE  
Scarlett: Fine. -Hands him the phone-  
Dave: -Calls Keith- Hey, Keith? I’m breaking up with you. I realized that Sky was the right one for me all along. Bye. -Ends call-

and KEITH WAS CRYING AND SCREAMING AND HE PUNCHED THE WALL WITH HIS PHONE AND HIS DOG CAME IN AND THE DOG SMELLED SO HE WAS CRYING EVEN MORE. The song continued. “Karkalicious. Definition: Makes Terezi loco!”

Dave: Thank you, Sadie! I can’t believe that I was so blind to the fact that Sky is the best character!  
sadie: h-h-huh?!

-  
Sadie’s Confessional

sadie: holy s***, i wanted to get revenge not make him an even bigger simp!  
-

beth: wait. turn the podcast off  
sadie: b-but payback-  
Beth: Do it! :)  
sadie: holy s*** ok -turns it off-

dave restarts like a windows computer

david: ow ok what happened  
sparemy: you see-  
dawn: oh, nothing!

-  
Dawn’s Confessional

dawn: i hate david with all of my heart. i want him to not know that he broke up with his boyfriend. -eats more cat food-  
-

topher: wow ok so while you all suck the gamer zeldas didnt even do a podcast so they lose and the generic marios win. meet me by the dock stupids.  
Scarlett: Ok.

~

topher: rlly disappointed in you guys like wow but anyways the following are safe  
Cameron  
Amy  
Harold  
and Cody  
sam and scarlett... one of u are home

dramatic music plays but neither of them give a fuck!

topher: sam u suck bye bye  
harold: -cries- sam no my bf  
Cody: Gee, now you know how it feels.  
sam: hmph. bye fuckers. you just eliminated the best gamer.  
topher: who cares -throws wii at-  
sam: OH F -flies off dock-  
topher: i have nothing to say so see yall next time on total drama eat hop chop

~

Cody walks over to where the podcasts are and takes the one labeled Kirbys. The one with Karkalicious.

cody: i have an idea. -girly giggles-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> generic marios: beth, anne maria, jo, shawn, max, justin.  
> gamer zeldas: amy, harold, scarlet, cody, cameron.  
> karkalicious kirbys: samey, ella, lightning, dave, dawn, sadie, thunder.
> 
> eliminated:  
> 21st - Duncan   
> 20th - Noah  
> 19th - Zoey  
> 18th - Sam


	6. Episode 5: Danganronpa Reference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that i haven’t uploaded in like a while -.- i wasnt trying to be inactive but some things have gotten in the way..

KIRBYS

dawn: so... why is there a f******** bear on the team  
lightning: it’s thunder from total drama generations! you were there!  
thunder: -becomes a member of the mafia-  
sparemy: uhhh dawn cant you like speak to animals or something  
dawn: ...yes...

-  
Dawn’s Confessional

dawn: f*** no, i’m not a furry!  
-

dawn: uhhh... thunder says that sadie is a b**** a** m*******f******  
sadie: -storms up- BEAR SAID WHAT? HE GONNA BE SMOKIN’ PORK  
lightning: SHA-NO  
david: ughhhhh... Where topher when you need him?  
topher: -teleports behind you- glad you said that dave but f*** you anygays welcome, back to total drama playas das resort!!!  
ella: who cares  
topher: CUE INTRO  
intern 2: We dont have an intro tho  
intern 3: wanna bet?  
intern 1: No because there is none  
intern 3: ....f*ck!!

-  
MARIOS

max: that’s it, i’m going to go fart. it will be super eeeeeeviiiiillllll :flushed:  
beth: you do you  
max: hey, jo  
jo: what  
max: -places football down- Kick it  
jo: okkkkkkkk -runs-  
max: -moves football-  
jo: WTFFFFFFFFF -trips-  
max: you fool, i decieved you, now i will do a SUPER EVIL FART -fart’s on b*tch*  
anne maria: STFU -throws spray can at max-  
max: OW OUR ASSHOLE  
shawn: -dead-  
justin: uhhhhhh, he’s still, dead  
jo: -crying from super evil fart- who cares

-  
ZELDAS

amy: -drawing-  
cameron: what u doing amy  
amy: im doing topher but also im drawing my sonic oc  
cameron: errrr may i see 0-0  
amy: her name is amy and shes pink and simps for sonic  
cameron: thats a ripoff of amy rose  
amy: -growl- GRRRRR ITS NOT AMY ROSE AND YKNOW WHAT OUR ALLIANCE IS CANCELED  
harold: ?

-  
Amy’s Confessional

amy: that FUCKING HORE accuses MY OC of being some simp, WE DONE  
-  
Harold’s Confessional

harold: yknow, if amy died, we’d get an emmy awarddd...  
-

cody: SCARLETT  
Scarlett: You actually said my name right?  
cody: whoops finger slipped on keyboard anyways i have a serenade to sing  
Scarlett: Oh. Care to show... what it is?  
cody: -ahem ahem- ok here we go. TWO TRUCKS HOLDING HANDS TWO TRUCKS HOLDING HANDS, THE PASSION, THE PASSION, IS MORE THAN I CAN WISTAND  
Scarlett: That song was horrible! Please go pester somebody else.  
cody: fuck yiu >;( i will go serenade at beth

-  
MARIOS

cody: -teleport’s behind u- nothing personnel, kid  
beth: oh hi codeh >.<  
cody: TWO TRUCKS HAVING S-

topher on intercom: SHUT THE F*** UP ITS CHALLENGE TIME HEAD TO POOL

beth: awww, cody was singing such a nice song!

-  
Beth’s Confessional

beth: that was the worst song i’ve ever f******** heard.  
-

topher: ok everyone is here right anyways the challenge today is cops and robbers  
jo: how are we supposed to do cops and robbers with 3 teams  
topher: oh right, thanks a lot SAMUEL.  
harold: u can’t talk s*** about my boyf-  
topher: the CHALLENGE TODAY IS TO CAPTURE THE GAMER ZELDAS THEYRE SPREAD OUT ALL OVER THE RESORT  
cameron: no we’re not  
topher: YOU WILL HAVE 2 MINUTES TO RUN OFF AND WHICHEVER TEAM CAPTURES THE MOST WINS  
lightning: oh so capture the flag we will sooooo sha win this thunder  
thunder: ...

-  
Thunder’s Confessional

thunder: -bear shrug-

-  
ZELDAS

cody: -does the stanky leg into the kitchen- we have a kitchen?  
amy: yeah and BUG OFF im trying to eat ice cream  
cody: that’s.... a horrible idea for a hide and seek challenge. i’m leaving to avoid association  
amy: awwwwww good riddance :))

-  
MARIOS

justin: shawn is still dead guys  
anne maria: oh yeah who cares  
jo: we could use more seekers idot -_-  
max: then uhhh... BETHANY. GO SEEK OUT TOPHER FOR REVIVAL  
beth: anything for u babygrill -walks off-  
max: i am not a baby NOR A GRILL ?????  
justin: i’ll go check the kitchen  
anne maria: i need to freshen up my looks rq lol  
jo: GO LOOK IN THE ARCADE  
anne maria: fineeee damnnn she popped off -walt’s off-  
jo: * . *

-  
KIRBYS

sparemy: uhm.. if i may-  
lightning: no <3 -slap’s duct tape on her-  
david: hey let her speak  
sadie: she may NOT. thank u, next  
lightning: Ye, -walk’s to laundry room-  
dawn: i am glad we did not get cops and robbers  
ella: oh? why is that  
dawn: because i would be instantly classified as a ,,robber,,  
ella: i knew you were a tax evader but not by this much  
dawn: U DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME -crie’s and run’s to banana room-  
ella: sometimes i want to snap and go crazy at this team -follow’s after-

-  
ZELDAS

harold: -scurrie’s to arcade- uhhh where am i supposed to hide

...

Silence.

harold: -punches arcade machine open and hops inside- where we droppin boyz

I have no idea why he chose to hide in the inside of a Club Penguin arcade machine, but ok, king.

anne maria: i am so tired of everyone here -walk’s in-   
harold: oh no a femoid walked in.... i literally am going to cry... this is so sad... alexa play despac-  
anne maria: I LITERALLY CAN HEAR YOU

topher on intercom: anne maria has found harold, generic marios earn a point

anne maria: WE AREN’T EVEN GENERIC YA LITTLE B****

-  
MARIOS

beth: wait a minute where even is topher...

topher on intercom: yes

beth: hm ok that was f******* useless so guess i will check the podcast area maybe he’s being a narcissist 

-  
KIRBYS

lightning: sha yea sha woo sha yeah sha wah sha yeah sha bam  
cody: if i reveal myself will you please shut up oh my god you’re so annoying i hate you i swear to god

topher on intercom: karkalicious kirbys earn a point, score is 1-1

cody: i hate my life

-  
KIRBYS (AGAIN...)

dawn: -crying in banana room-  
ella: -walk’s after- look im sorry i said u did tax evasion,, even tho it’s true  
dawn: I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT  
ella: ok then why are you sad  
dawn: Beetlejuice changed their name to Human  
ella: i... I am going -trip’s and falls into banana hoarde-  
dawn: Haha, loser -strut’s off-

-  
MARIOS

jo: wait a minute beth didn’t even take the body  
max: hmmm hmm I GOT IT i will super evil fart him to beth  
jo: That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard  
max: -super evil fart’s-

beth: ok im in the podcast area  
shawn: -teleport’s in all corpse-  
beth: wtfff.  
topher: hiya bethany what do you need  
beth: a life. Oh and the team wants to revive shawn i guess,  
topher: what made you think he was dead?  
beth: Huh?  
topher: shawn just needs something hang on -dump’s mountain dew on his corpse-  
shawn: -wake’s up- where am i what happened  
beth: ohhh thank god you’re Alive -grab’s him and run’s off- thank’s topher!  
shawn: Wh

-  
ZELDAS

amy: -eat’ing ice cream- holy s*** this is the most delicious chocolate chip ice cream ever  
justin: -walk’s in- who said that  
amy: EEK -noclip’s out of frame-  
justin: hmmmmm.... must be the utensils  
amy: THE UTENSILS REALLY WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU AS DUMB AS SPAREMY  
justin: she’s dumb? i thought she was a girl  
amy: Huh... ur right... i’m .. stuck in this wall Tho .-.

topher on intercom: generic marios got another point, score is 2-1. Probably shouldve kept your mouth shut, amandicus

-  
Amy’s Confessional

amy: AMANDICUS?! my name is amelia. what, you think it was something zany? -_-...

...

Oh my god, is everyone in this chapter unable to quip?

amy: still ... sparemy- no... sammy is apparently is a not dumb? I might have to reconsider some things I’ve said

topher on intercom: that is overly sappy lol

amy: Huh? CUT THE CONFESSIONAL YOU LITTLE BI-

-  
KIRBYS

sparemy: -rip’s tape off- ok can i talk now.  
sadie: Fine, what chu want  
david: ye-  
sadie: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE F*** UP  
sparemy: ok that was rude, he’s part of my idea  
sadie: Wanna spill the beans on it  
sparemy: look, we 3, will vote off a target, and sadie i know we arent best buds after recent events but we need the advantage  
sadie: ...fine just this once  
david: so who are we choosing?  
sparemy: i know who

-  
MARIOS

shawn: -walk’s to pool- i just got revived and as soon as i do they send me off to look? dumb f**** -waltze’s around-  
Scarlett: ...  
shawn: I can read the dialogue you know  
Scarlett: Oh, I’m well aware of that. I was already found, you see!  
shawn: by who  
dawn: me, of course

topher on intercom: dawn, brings back a point for her team, score is 2-2, just one more hidden contestant

shawn: uhhh who  
jo: -across the resort- FUUUUUUCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK-

-  
Jo’s Confessional

jo: can’t believe that he is still [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] here i hate this stupid game why did I agree to this ughhhh [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]! and [reeeeedddaaaaaactttteeeed] [redacted] [redacted]!

...

...

...Uh-

jo: You’ll censor that, I’m guessing?

-  
ZELDAS (hours later...)

amy: zzzzzzzzzzzzz -wake’s up- wait why was i sleeping... and WHY WAS I IN THE WALL ugh...

Amy noclips out of the wall before heading outside of the resort and over to the pool. The Karkalicious Kirbys are all gathered and cheering. The blonde heads over to Sammy.

amy: awh, sis, i’m... er, glad your team won, now both of us are safe for anther day  
sammy: no idea what poison you took, but thanks... but.  
amy: Buuuuuut..t? Hehe, funny joke  
sammy: they’re not celebrating because they won! we lost, idot .-.  
amy: damn, no need for the charm but you all must’ve eliminated someone so bad, was it dave? dawn? the bear?

-  
KIRBYS

sammy: we’re going to elimiante.... thunder  
lightning: -charge’s in- SHA-WHAT  
sparemy: 0-0 oh s***  
sadie: WHAT, SPAREMY, HOW COULD YOU TRY TO MANIPULATE ME AND DAVID INTO VOTING OFF POOR SWEET THUNDER. Isnt that right dave  
david: huh?  
sadie: -whispering- karkalicious definition-  
Dave: Oh, uh, she sure did. Can’t believe it!  
sparemy: WHAT  
lightning: YOU ARE SO SHA ELIMINATED TONIGHT B****.  
sadie: karma bites, sweetheart!

topher on intercom: everyone, head to the pool

-

sparemy: wait, you didn’t even hear the intercom.  
amy: I was sleeping in the middle of the wall, ok  
sparemy: er, anyways!

-

topher: ok, well, i’ve counted the votes, and i finally found the marshmallows again, the following are safe:  
dawn  
lightning  
sadie  
dave  
and thunder  
ella and samantha, you two are up on the chopping block!  
ella: what, how! I didnt even do anything

-  
Dawn’s Confessional

dawn: you’re very insensitive, ella. the banana room is a SACRED place.  
-

topher: anyways the one going home is...  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

-  
amy: oh so you all got rid of ella? major bummer, but eh, ...oh well!!  
sparemy: You don’t get it? The one going home is me. I’m capiche.  
amy: come again?  
sparemy: ...See you at home, I guess.  
amy: Bye... I’m.. sorry.

topher: BLUE SHELL TIME -chuck’s it at sparemy-  
sammy: AAAAAAAA -goes flyin’ off the dock-  
topher: will blah blah blah stuff happen? find out nextime!!!! :))  
amy: what was the point of eliminating two sams in a row???  
lightning: SHA SHUT UP AND SHA PARTY  
Amy: Sure!

-  
FOOTAGE ROOM

intern 1: i don’t f********* get it, what are you working on,,  
intern 2: -pressing buttons- you wouldn’t get it >.< im trying to fix what once was good  
intern 3: Fixing? Did you know that-  
intern 1: SHUT UP IDOT  
intern 2: you’re sooooo annoying, how’d you even get here?  
intern 3: that’s for me to know and you to not! now did you know t-  
intern 2: wait, hold that thought, i think i got this to work!

.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

intern 2: Damnit, did the wires short circuit-

A new camera blares to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> generic marios: beth, anne maria, jo, shawn, max, justin.  
> gamer zeldas: amy, harold, scarlet, cody, cameron.  
> karkalicious kirbys: ella, lightning, dave, dawn, sadie, thunder.
> 
> eliminated:  
> 22nd - Duncan (Karkalicious Kirbys)  
> 21st - Noah (Gamer Zeldas)  
> 20th - Zoey (Generic Marios)  
> 19th - Sam (Gamer Zeldas)  
> 18th - Sammy (Karkalicious Kirbys)


End file.
